6 Penis Pipes for Gag Gifts and “Personal” Use

A penis pipe is the perfect bachelorette gift or an excellent way to pay homage to two of your favorite pastimes — weed and dong. But, so many penis pipes, and so little time… am I right?

Sometimes you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. When it comes to buying a new pipe, you might not have enough time to spare.

So, we’re speeding up the process and saving you from putting your mouth on some bad penis pipes!

Nothing gets the party started quite like a pipe shaped like a schlong. Wanna go all night long? Then get high with these six phallic pieces.




6 Penis Pipes for Gag Gifts and "Personal" Use
6 Penis Pipes for Gag Gifts and "Personal" Use

This stone penis pipe is just 2.5 inches long but can get the work done on-the-go. Stone helps cool down smoke, so you can take a quick hit and put back in your pocket within minutes!

Get mouth-deep in smoke with this all-inclusive penis bowl. It has one of the deepest basins to accommodate fists full of herb!

The Best Dick Shaped Pipes

We all like to get lit and laid. Merge both of these worlds and create the ultimate smoking experience. Swipe left on these six penis pipes.

We’re going to cover:

  • Which penis pipe is the prettiest
  • Different material used to make penis pipes
  • How to find a penis pipe to match your personal preferences

1. “Penis Pipe” Worked Spoon


If you’re looking for just the tip, you’ll get plenty of it with the “Penis Pipe” Worked Spoon. This bowl has one of the largest mouthpieces. You can comfortably grip it with your lips to create the ideal suction for optimal smoke inhalation.

The “Penis Pipe” Worked Spoon celebrates diversity. Its lifelike colors were hand-mixed by artists. So, you can sample all the boys’ parts and see which pipe you prefer puffing on.

This pipe is accompanied by sets of veins. They encompass the outside of the shaft, which also creates support while the bowl is sitting. If you tip the table, it’s more likely to lean on a vein and sit back upright.

While this piece is really thick, its bowl isn’t the deepest. In fact, the basin is rather large, which would infer you’d have a lot of room to pack weed.

However, it’s rather shallow and will require a few refills. So, expect to go a few rounds with the “Penis Pipe” Worked Spoon.


  • 4.5 Inches Long
  • Thick Glass
  • Three Hand-Spun Color Tubes
  • Made In California


  • Love the Artistry, Handmade Colors Is A Neat Touch
  • Excellent Flare for Mouthpiece
  • Veins Add to Table Stability


  • Shallow Bowl for Such A Large Basin
  • Small Hole in Mouthpiece Makes It More Challenging to Clean

2. Onyx Penis Pipe


Make your bed rock with the Onyx Penis Pipe. While it’s small in stature, it knows what it’s doing.

The stone doesn’t compromise any flavor and naturally helps cool down the hot smoke. That way, you can enjoy the taste without scorching your tastebuds or causing a coughing fit.

At just 2.5 inches, there is quite a bit of detail. Even the lips at the mouthpiece separate like an actual penis.

Be careful when handling. It is a bit heavy.

While it won’t shatter like glass, it will fall to the ground at a great velocity. As a result, repeated drops can chip this novelty pipe in time.

Ahem: if you’re more into bongs, check out these penis bongs here.


  • 2.5 Inches Long
  • Onyx Stone
  • Four Options


  • Unique Material That Doesn’t Compromise Flavor
  • Stone Naturally Cools Down Smoke
  • Small and Easy to Travel With


  • Heavy, Can Crack With Repeated Drops
  • Due to Its Size, You Must Repack Frequently

3. Mr. Johnson Penis Glass Pipe


Turn your penis into a spectacle with the Mr. Johnson Penis Glass Pipe. This one is a smoker and a shower!

The Mr. Johnson comes in two options that are bound to dazzle your eyes. You can get the color-changing clear pipe.

We love that the tip becomes either pink or gold. Meanwhile, the balls remain blue unless you cup them right!

Otherwise, you can opt for the black Mr. Johnson that glows in the dark. You might never turn the lights on again after a night with Mr. Johnson!

If you are all about proportions, this piece is anatomically correct. In fact, they’ve updated their collection to create more lifelike tips, shafts, and testes.

When it comes to comfort, this is the best to hold. The shaft is well-defined and fits perfectly nestled in the palm of your hands.


  • 8 Inches Long
  • 6-Ounce Weight
  • Color-Accented Glass
  • Color Changing or Glow in the Dark Options


  • The Color Changing Options Are Phenomenal, A Lot of Fun
  • Veins in Chamber Force Smoke to Filtrate
  • Great Contour On Tip For Comfortable Mouthpiece


  • Small Bowl, Might Need to Pack Frequently
  • Holes Are Small, Difficult to Clean

4. Empire Glassworks – Large Black Penis Hand Pipe


The Empire Glassworks – Large Black Penis Hand Pipe looks a lot like the glow-in-the-dark Mr. Johnson, minus all the frills. However, it comes at the same price!

We must say, in terms of sturdiness, this is the best penis pipe. Its ball-to-tip ratio is the perfect distance to create a solid foundation. In the event the bowl tips, it won’t roll off the table due to its external veins.

Just where the balls/bowl sac meets the bowl is a nice divot to place your fingers. You can comfortably kick back and chill with this penis bowl.


  • 5 Inches Long
  • Glass
  • Vein Accents
  • American-Made


  • One of the Deepest Bowls on this List
  • Very Sturdy, Great Shaft Support in the Tip to Balls Ratio


  • Very Plain Looking Compared to Others
  • More Expensive for What You Get

5. Stone Carved Penis Hand Pipe


Sometimes we like to keep our love for penises a little closer to the vest. We want to have a little inside joke with ourselves that others might not catch onto.

Instead of something outlandishly a penis, like the Onyx Penis Pipe, you might want to opt for a more inconspicuous stone pipe. Check out the Stone Carved Penis Hand Pipe.

At first glance, this piece looks like it belongs on a chessboard. Your friend who is reluctant to smoke out of the Mr. Johnson will crack up when they realize they’re slurping away on a schlong.

For a small pipe, it has a pretty deep bowl. You can get a good amount of herb in there and take hits throughout the day.


  • 5 Inches Long
  • Polished Stone


  • More Discreet Than Others
  • Easy to Travel With
  • Bowl Holds A Decent Amount of Herb for Its Size
  • Large Hole and Small Stature Make It One of the Easiest to Clean


  • Might Not Have Enough Penis Qualities for Boy Crazy Smokers
  • Not the Prettiest Bowl

6. Empire Glass Rainbow Rod


Whether you’re gay, transitioning, or like the whole spectrum, there are plenty of reasons for the LGBTQ+ community to celebrate penis. Let your pride flag fly with the Empire Glass Rainbow Rod.

This all-inclusive piece has many colors within the extended LGBT family swirled into the design. Even intersexual, trisexual, and agender colors are represented!

Of the penis pipes, this one has the deepest bowls. So, get a fistful of herb and pack it real tight to let yourself get nice and loose!

Its raised veins accentuate the shaft and make for a comfortable grip. Pass around at the next Pride Parade without fear of it dropping.

If the pipe does fall, you have a good chance this penis will survive. It’s made of thick glass that keeps coming back for more hits.


  • 5.5 Inches Long
  • Rainbow-Colored Glass
  • Carb Hole
  • Vein Accents


  • Very Inclusive for the Extended LGBTQ+ Community
  • Real Great Bowl Depth for Long Smoke Sessions
  • Nice Grip with Veins


  • Has A Tendency to Roll If Bumped On A Table

FAQs about Penis pipes

What is a penis pipe?

A penis pipe is exactly what it sounds like – a pipe shaped like a penis. The pipes are typically made from glass, but can also be made from wood, silicone,ceramic, and even metal. The pipes are typically filled with water and used to smoke marijuana and other forms of cannabis.

The bowl is the part where the marijuana or other cannabis is placed. The stem is the part of the pipe that connects the bowl to the neck and mouthpiece.The neck is the part of the pipe that extends from the stem and curves down to the mouthpiece. The mouthpiece is the part of the pipe where the userinhales the smoke. The penis pipe is a popular choice among marijuana smokers because of its unique shape and size. It is also a great conversation pieceand a great way to add some fun and humor to a smoking session.

The penis pipe is also often used as a gag gift or novelty item. The penis pipe has been around for many years and is still a popular choice among smokingenthusiasts. It is a great way to add some fun and humor to a smoking session and it makes a great conversation piece.

The penis pipe is also a great way to show off one’s creativity and sense of humor. So, if you are looking for something different and unique to add to yoursmoking collection, the penis pipe is the way to go.

Is a silicone pipe better?

Silicone pipes are becoming increasingly popular due to their many advantages compared to traditional pipes.

Silicone pipes are made from a flexible, heat–resistant material that is non–toxic and durable.

This makes them much safer to use than metal, glass, or ceramic pipes, which can be fragile and can even release toxic materials when heated.

Silicone pipes also have a longer lifespan than other materials, lasting up to 10 years with proper care.

The material is also non–porous, meaning it won’t absorb oils or toxins from the smoke and can be easily cleaned with a damp cloth or mild soap. Thismakes silicone pipes much healthier than other materials, as there is no risk of inhaling harmful materials.

Silicone pipes also come in a variety of shapes and sizes, making them perfect for any type of smoking experience.

Unlike metal or glass pipes, silicone pipes are also airtight, meaning they can produce better, more consistent smoke.

Additionally, silicone pipes are usually much more affordable than metal or glass pipes, making them a great option for those on a budget.

Overall, silicone pipes offer many advantages over traditional pipes, making them a great choice for smokers looking for a safe, durable, and affordablesmoking experience.

What kind of pipe lasts the longest?

A type of pipe that is likely to last the longest is a cross–linked polyethylene (PEX) pipe. This type of pipe is made from a high–density polyethylene materialthat is resistant to cracking, corrosion, and other damage. It also has a high level of flexibility and can be bent to fit into spaces that other types of pipes maynot fit in. It is also resistant to extreme temperatures, so it can be used in both hot and cold water systems. PEX pipes also have a low thermal expansionrate, so it is unlikely to burst when exposed to sudden changes in temperature.

Additionally, PEX pipes have a smooth interior that allows water to move through it with minimal friction, which increases its overall efficiency.

PEX pipes are also relatively easy to install, as they are available in long lengths and can be cut to fit any space.

They are also available in different diameters, making them suitable for a variety of applications. In addition, PEX pipes are relatively inexpensive, makingthem a cost–effective option for most plumbing projects.

Overall, PEX pipes are a great option for anyone looking for a durable and long–lasting pipe solution. Their flexibility, resistance to temperature extremes, lowthermal expansion rate, and affordability make them an ideal choice for a variety of plumbing projects.

With proper installation and maintenance, PEX pipes can easily last for decades with minimal maintenance.

What should you think about when buying a weed pipe?

When buying a weed pipe, you should consider the following:

  1. Material: Glass pipes are popular because they are easy to clean and provide a pure taste, but they can be fragile. Metal and silicone pipes are also options, but they may affect the taste of the smoke.
  2. Size: Consider how portable you want your pipe to be and how much you want to smoke at once.
  3. Style: There are many different styles of pipes available, from classic spoon shapes to more elaborate designs.
  4. Cleaning: Consider how easy the pipe is to clean, especially if you plan on using it frequently.
  5. Price: Pipes can range widely in price, so consider how much you are willing to spend.
  6. Legal considerations: Be sure to be aware of the legal status of marijuana in your area and to purchase pipes from reputable source.

Final Verdict

Finding the right penis is the key to happiness for many of us. It’s especially important when you’re looking to trade up from your favorite girly pipe.

Once you’ve locked your lips on the right tip, there’s no turning back. You will definitely experience love at first sight with any of these peters.

However, we have to put a good word in for Mr. Johnson Penis Glass Pipe. We have the most fun with him.

The way he changes colors, especially when he’s experiencing blue balls just adds another layer to the overall experience. Friends have a great laugh passing around Mr. Johnson, whether the lights are on or not!

By cannabunga

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